That’s my father’s go-to question. Typically, my first reaction is, “Not much, same old, same old.” As he developed Alzheimer’s, the question has become more and more prevalent. He often asks it again within three minutes.

I take these moments as a challenge to always have something new to say. After all, he’s trying to strike up a conversation, and “not much” doesn’t go anywhere, so I plan to have something ready to talk about.

Getting together with friends for dinner, one of them asked me, “What’s new?” I thought of my dad, smiled, paused, overcame my “not much” instinct, and started a conversation.

That was a break-through moment for me. The intention behind what’s new is simply to start a conversation. I can create stronger connections with others, by having engaging answers ready to go, and on the other side of the interaction, ask an easier prompt to get people talking.

ENGAGING ANSWERS TO WHAT’S NEW

EVENTS. Think through your upcoming calendar. What event do you have coming up that you can share. It can truly be exciting, “My wife and I are heading to Florida in two weeks.” Simply routine, “I’ve been taking a spin class a couple times a week.” Or even not confirmed yet, “I’ve been trying to get together with my son, but his schedule is so busy.”
CONTENT. What content have you recently consumed that you keep thinking about. Music, movies, TV, books, articles, podcasts? Something new you recently learned or a fun fact. Careful not to Cliff Clavon it by droning on with boring facts.
PROJECTS. David Allen defines projects as anything requiring more than one step. What projects have you recently completed, currently working on, or planning to start. Like events, they can be big “We’re renovating our basement” or mundane “I just changed the oil in my car.”
CONUNDRUMS. What issues have you been working on solving? “I just replaced my water heater, and I’m not sure how to get rid of the old one.” Or bizarre what ifs, “I’ve been thinking a lot about statistics lately. What if you had the power to see one statistic hovering over every person’s head, what would you want it to be?”

A good conversation is balanced, so when you share, give 3-7 sentences then ask a question back. When I was going skydiving with my daughter and son, my answer was really short, “I’m going skydiving with my daughter and son in two weeks. Have you ever been?” I was amazed how many of my friends had been or thought about going, but that we never talked about it before.

Which leads into the other side of the interaction, ask good questions. How are you? and What’s new? typically don’t get things going. To get interesting answers, ask interesting questions.

BETTER PROMPTS

Use the reverse of the categories above. What’s coming up on your calendar? When was the last time you talked to ....? What have you been reading lately? What projects are you thinking of starting?
What are your thoughts on... (tacos, classic rock, aliens...)
How do you... (deal with an angry customer, keep yourself from getting hangry, discover new music)
What’s your ____ routine? (morning, exercise, talking to your family)
Do you know... (many doctors, any famous people, someone who is missing a finger)
Have you ever... (climbed a mountain, been really close to lightning, eaten with chopsticks)
When was a time you... (felt scared, saw awesome fireworks, mistook a stranger for someone you knew or you were mistaken for someone else)

Listen to the questions around you, think of questions that encourage people to talk about themselves, experiment, watch for reactions, refine, and enjoy richer conversations.