I know you’d do the same for me

THE RUB

When I thanked my brother for spending the night in the hospital with dad, my brother texted back with a sentiment filled with love, “It’s nothing Dad wouldn’t do for us. Dad has spent plenty of nights in the ER with me when I was younger.”

That reminded me of a sales tip I learned three years ago from Dan Deans in his LinkedIn newsletter “Weekly Sales Tips.”

The next time a loyal customer thanks you for an action think about this new response:

I know you’d do the same for me.

Anyone can say ‘no problem’ or ‘you’re welcome’ to a customer. But since you’ve built a relationship with this person you can go one step further with ‘Of course! I know you’d do the same for me.’ This simple statement brings attention to the relationship, showing that your connection goes far beyond that of a casual customer and a sales clerk.

I loved this idea when I first read it, and I started using it immediately. But over time, the phrase didn’t become a habit. Last week after my brother’s reminder, I looked for opportunities to begin utilizing the response again.

Unfortunately, the right opportunity didn’t present itself, because I hadn’t done much to help others. It was an unusual week. I took three days off to direct a race we ultimately canceled because of extreme winter weather. So I had more free alone time than usual. It made me wonder, am I creating enough good will opportunities that would warrant that response? Which led to an even bigger question: What does it actually mean to be helpful?

THE FRAMEWORK

I’m not looking for more work. I have plenty to do. But could I be more intentional about helping? Could I bring more value to some of my relationships?

In 1965, Frank Riessman developed the Helper Therapy Principle when he observed that helping others heals the helper more than the recipient. Researching the benefits of helping, I kept encountering the word “prosocial.”

The word was created by social scientists as an antonym for antisocial. Its emergence came in the 1970’s in the wake of the civil rights movement. Prosocial behavior benefits other people through acts like helping, sharing, donating, cooperating, and volunteering.

THE PRACTICE

Helping others feels good and offers many health and emotional benefits. I’m looking for ways to be prosocial, and here are three opportunities I plan to look for this week.

1. Listen for recurring complaints. When multiple people mention the same frustration, that’s a signal. There’s an opportunity to make a difference.
2. Ask myself who else? Once I invest the time in a solution, look to see if it can apply somewhere else. Simple example: a buddy shared a funny SNL video with me. Rather than just enjoying it myself, I thought of four others who’d appreciate it and spread that moment of joy.
3. Test through smaller steps. Don’t ask to be someone’s coach. Offer to review their presentation, give feedback on their strategy deck, or facilitate a single planning session.

Barnett Helzberg, Jr. wrote in What I Learned Before I Sold to Warren Buffett,

My dad always said, ‘Leave the campground cleaner than you found it.’ That simple idea was bigger than just picking up after yourself at a campsite. It meant: add value. Don’t just take. Make things better, wherever you are, for whoever comes next.

Be prosocial. If someone notices, and thanks you, respond with, “I know you’d do the same for me.”