Inciteful? Making up a new homophone

I'm a bad speller. Really bad. I've become dependent on my computer to guess what I'm trying to type and help me out. I was typing "insightful," and I misspelled it as inciteful. While Outlook failed to know what I was trying to say, when I looked at that word, I thought, weight wait that's not write right.

Then I thought about the difference between those two words, and I laughed. What I meant was the article I read was full of understanding of the true nature, but instead I wrote that the article was full of cause to act in an angry, harmful, or violent way.

Incite \ in-ˈsīt

Insight \ ˈin-ˌsīt

Insight is the older of the two words and was created to describe sight with the eyes of the mind, understanding from within. Incite traces back to Latin incitare "to put into rapid motion." It's evolved from the older to move to action to be filled more with anger and violence. I suppose that's fine. We have "inspire" and "motivate" to move to action in a positive manner.

This set of homophones made me want to connect them. Could insights incite someone? Sure, but I don't endorse insights that cause us to act in anger. If we stick with origin stories, I do like insights that move me to action.

What's New and Exciting

That’s my father’s go-to question. Typically, my first reaction is, “Not much, same old, same old.” As he developed Alzheimer’s, the question has become more and more prevalent. He often asks it again within three minutes.

I take these moments as a challenge to always have something new to say. After all, he’s trying to strike up a conversation, and “not much” doesn’t go anywhere, so I plan to have something ready to talk about.

Getting together with friends for dinner, one of them asked me, “What’s new?” I thought of my dad, smiled, paused, overcame my “not much” instinct, and started a conversation.

That was a break-through moment for me. The intention behind what’s new is simply to start a conversation. I can create stronger connections with others, by having engaging answers ready to go, and on the other side of the interaction, ask an easier prompt to get people talking.

ENGAGING ANSWERS TO WHAT’S NEW

• EVENTS. Think through your upcoming calendar. What event do you have coming up that you can share. It can truly be exciting, “My wife and I are heading to Florida in two weeks.” Simply routine, “I’ve been taking a spin class a couple times a week.” Or even not confirmed yet, “I’ve been trying to get together with my son, but his schedule is so busy.”
• CONTENT. What content have you recently consumed that you keep thinking about. Music, movies, TV, books, articles, podcasts? Something new you recently learned or a fun fact. Careful not to Cliff Clavon it by droning on with boring facts.
• PROJECTS. David Allen defines projects as anything requiring more than one step. What projects have you recently completed, currently working on, or planning to start. Like events, they can be big “We’re renovating our basement” or mundane “I just changed the oil in my car.”
• CONUNDRUMS. What issues have you been working on solving? “I just replaced my water heater, and I’m not sure how to get rid of the old one.” Or bizarre what ifs, “I’ve been thinking a lot about statistics lately. What if you had the power to see one statistic hovering over every person’s head, what would you want it to be?”

A good conversation is balanced, so when you share, give 3-7 sentences then ask a question back. When I was going skydiving with my daughter and son, my answer was really short, “I’m going skydiving with my daughter and son in two weeks. Have you ever been?” I was amazed how many of my friends had been or thought about going, but that we never talked about it before.

Which leads into the other side of the interaction, ask good questions. How are you? and What’s new? typically don’t get things going. To get interesting answers, ask interesting questions.

BETTER PROMPTS

• Use the reverse of the categories above. What’s coming up on your calendar? When was the last time you talked to ....? What have you been reading lately? What projects are you thinking of starting?
• What are your thoughts on... (tacos, classic rock, aliens...)
• How do you... (deal with an angry customer, keep yourself from getting hangry, discover new music)
• What’s your ____ routine? (morning, exercise, talking to your family)
• Do you know... (many doctors, any famous people, someone who is missing a finger)
• Have you ever... (climbed a mountain, been really close to lightning, eaten with chopsticks)
• When was a time you... (felt scared, saw awesome fireworks, mistook a stranger for someone you knew or you were mistaken for someone else)

Listen to the questions around you, think of questions that encourage people to talk about themselves, experiment, watch for reactions, refine, and enjoy richer conversations.

Start Small

I was wrapping up a seven-mile, late afternoon run when I saw my friend Kim stretching by her car. It was cold and the sun was getting ready to set. She mention how hard it was to get out of the house and get going. I knew the feeling. Starting is often the toughest.

A couple days later, I read about the two-minute rule from James Clear.

The Two-Minute Rule states, “When you start a new habit, it should take less than two minutes to do.” The idea is to make your habits as easy as possible to start. The Two-Minute Rule helps counterbalance our tendency to bite off more than we can chew. It also gives you a small way to reinforce your desired identity each day.

A couple of days after that, I heard Joe De Sena on the Rich Roll podcast say:

Just get going. Don't bite off too much. Lie to yourself, and say we're just going to do a little bit today, because a little bit is better than nothing.

Yesterday, I started running a 1.15-mile hill repeat on Sanders Mound at Clinton State Park. When I got there I was cold and didn't want to get out of my car. I told myself to overdress to stay warm and just run 2 repeats. Once I warmed up, I swung by my car and shed a few layers.

I saw my friend Diane out there running a repeat and she told me the record for most known repeats in day was 15. At this point, I broke my repeats into 3 loop sets. I ran for two, then I took the third as a "recovery" lap. Grabbed a snack, my water bottle, and walked up the hills. Those were very bite-sized chunks.

Once I hit nine repeats, I promised myself an upgraded snack at 12. At 12, I said will I should at least tie the record of 15. Once I hit 15, I thought, one more set of three and I can hit 20 miles. I did stop at 18 even though a voice was tempting me to go for 20 repeats.

Start small. It's easier to keep going than to start.